I love my Brothers

I remember on my first day in college, I entered the classroom, walked straight up to a place in front, and sat next to a guy whose radiance must have unknowingly led me to his side.

That guy was Reuben Koh, my tutor. It still tickles my bone remembering it, because the first things I noticed were his eyes. I guess his sincerity showed through those glassy pearls.

Possess a pure, kindly, and radiant heart, that thine may be a sovereignty, imperishable, and everlasting. – The Hidden Words.

Yesterday, Brother asked me about the Faith. I expected him to, because of everybody in church, he is the only one to have commented my newly acquired Faith in the Cause.

And just as I have expected, Brother was at first apprehensive, probably seeing the Cause as a deviation of Christianity, for he asked me strange questions..

It was the way he asked me that suggested the basis of his apprehension, which was love. “Is Jesus God?”, “Without a doubt?”, “The words sounds so intelligent, not sure if it has life changing properties.”

This Brother of mine, is special in the way he shows his love.. As you can see, the questions above were specially uttered ta someone he cares, and that humbled me.

I am reminded of Reuben again. When I first got to know Reuben, I was at little surprised and uncomfortable with how warm and loving he is. In June this year, I began studying Ruhi with Reuben and saw more of his radiant heart. Reuben never holds back his love and is always eager to show it. Sometimes, Reuben does silly mistakes, but I am prompted to forgive him, for whatever that led to his negligence are surely occupations directed at service to the community in one way or another. For example, once he forgotten to meet up with me, but it is only because he was studying towards the helping profession, and when he has not been paying attention to me, it is because he is busy with teaching other people and helping them out.

And this understanding, born out of love, has taught me a great deal, about what unconditional love means. I still have a long way to go, but I am gradually seeing the truth of Baha’i teachings.

In the garden of thy heart plant naught but the rose of love, and from the nightingale of affection loosen not thy hold. Treasure of companionship of the righteous, and eschew fellowship with the ungodly. -The Hidden Words.

As John Ling said, “More importantly, is what a religion causes you to do.” The victory of a Cause is seen in the believers in how it has changed their lives.

And I am proud to say that Baha’u'llah taught me a lot about the meaning of love and life. And I sincerely want to share it with my loved ones.

O BEFRIENDED STRANGER!
The candle of thine heart is lighted by the hand of My power, quench it not with the contrary winds of self and passion. The healer of all thine ills is remembrance of Me, forget it not. Make My love thy treasure and cherish it even as thy very sight and life.

Everyday, I continue to deal with many personal issues, like getting pass financial insecurity and trust in God. For money is never enough, but we do not live for money. Money is provided by God not for our own passion, money is given to us so we may purpose God’s purpose in life. If there is no divine purpose, then what is the use of money?

I figured the best way to quench this selfish sense of insecurity is by loving one another..

I wish to give my heart away

 

SPIRITUAL GROWTH PRAYER

God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.

O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.

 

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This is one prayer I enjoy reciting every morning. Many things in life corrupt my heart with feelings of discontentment, insecurity, pain, and restlessness. The moment I regain consciousness every morning is when I am most vulnerable to spiritual attack. Though I do not yet fully understand why, the result of which causes me to rely on prayer and communion with God, for it is my desire to detach from such hurtful feelings.

I supplicate God who purify and gladden my spirit. I want to be a joyful being. Seeing my prayerful, mindful, and meditative friends encourage me and inspire me to yearn for spiritual growth.

Two days ago, Tutor read this post, and told me not to worry about having nothing to say, because most of the time he spent talking to other people, he wished he could share some of the Jewels with them, but he couldn’t. Like myself, Tutor also prefers deep conversations.

 

I feel the same too. I am learning so much from the Faith, that I wish to share with my loved ones. But it is not our intend to impose. Hence, like Sri Easwaran and Ghandi, we take the silent approach, possessing a pure and kindly heart influencing others to change their ways. Or like Tutor, he teaches the Faith, not by lecturing, but by listening the opinion of others based on verses Baha’u'llah wrote. That way, he encourage people to look within themselves and reflect on the verses of God.

 

You know, in me is a heart full of love. Each day, I learn to see and feel every being as made from the same dust, possessing the same soul, under one Cause. Now, what more towards the people who reserved a special place in my heart. I want to embrace them and say how much I love them. But I can’t, due to differences in culture. So for now, I can only express my love towards Tutor and other Believers, a love for God and mankind. I hope, soon, everyone would come to understand this Love I found.

 

 

This I can do with God’s strength and love

When I first became a Christian, my friend advised me to pray for God’s guidance when I am undecided and lost. I did not heed her advice and constantly relied on other people for their assurance. Despite their good intentions, the advices given were based on worldly standards, and I was often frustrated. Often times, there was no absolute right or wrong, but choosing an option by worldly standards frustrate the soul. That is my personal experience, though it sounds theoretical

In my previous blog post, I gave examples of two male friends and asked myself who I would choose. In class today, we were going through quiz answers, when some students asked the lecturer what were the “keywords” that determined the marks of a short answer question.

Tutor was agitated, seeing how the students take education as an easy way out. Surely, it isn’t about using the right words, but with the right knowledge, one can answer the question in one’s own ways.

It did not occur to me then, but now many hours have passed, I realized God was whispering into my heart the answer that I was searching for.

Every one of us have flaws that need to be dealt with. I want to be a Psychologist. I can study about psychological and biological disorders fervently, constantly searching for more information and knowledge, I am a Psychologist! That’s right. How, then, can I ever settle for a man only because the marriage would be “secure”? No, life is much more than that.

God created men so we may attain His presence, His knowledge, His wisdom, to bring Heaven onto earth. Life is a big project, a major task. How then, can I even dream of an easy way out?

Baha’u'llah said:
O SON OF MAN!

For everything there is a sign. The sign of love is fortitude under My decree and patience under My trials.

O SON OF MAN!

The true lover yearneth for tribulation even as doth the rebel for forgiveness and the sinful for mercy.

If adversity befall thee not in My path, how canst thou walk in the ways of them that are content with My pleasure? If trials afflict thee not in thy longing to meet Me, how wilt thou attain the light in thy love for My beauty?

O SON OF MAN!

My calamity is My providence, outwardly it is fire and vengeance, but inwardly it is light and mercy. Hasten thereunto that thou mayest become an eternal light and an immortal spirit. This is My command unto thee, do thou observe it.

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Have you noticed that whenever I write about God, the holy verses are most often self-explanatory?

I noticed that since studying Ruhi, my heart and spirit has changed for the better, my purpose in life has entered new perspectives too.

A man may have countless flaws, and as a Brother once said, it is too easy to simply walk away, Surely, the followers of God is more capable than that.

Remember Tutor also said, “We can’t change people. but we can influence them.”

My best reminder is this: I am a Psychologist, and therefore I do not decide by worldly standards.

As a true Baha’i, we do not cause strife.

Today, my Brother-In-Christ, (Brother), suggested me to share the Baha’i Faith during cellgroup meeting. I was surprised, but kept my cool.

In a few recent blog post, I quoted Baha’u'llah to support my arguments. As I know, Brother seldom reads my blog if at all. He hasn’t been chatting with me for some time. Naturally, his witty suggestion startled me.

Knowing his staunch believe in Christ, anything else is considered “fake”. Although his mention today was preceded by witty charm, but I knew it’s only the surface. Perhaps he was just waiting to hear bad things about the Baha’i faith.

As a Baha’i, we must remember at all times that the faith is about world unity. Today, I saw a brother who loves me, and that’s all I care about his intentions.

Coincidentally, Tutor today remarked that as a Christian who found the Baha’i faith, my role is not to forcibly change my friends’ opinion, but to influence them with our purity and deeds.

Subsequently, Tutor forwarded me this e-mail which explains our duty as true Baha’is:

What It is To Be A Baha’i

A letter to the Baha’i youth from Ruhiyyih Khanum, 1948.

The other day a man asked Shoghi Effendi: “What is the object of life to a Baha’i?” As the Guardian repeated his answer to me (I had not been present> with the visitor), indeed, before he did, I wondered in my own mind what it had been. Had he told the man that to us the object of life is to know God,> or perfect our own character? I never really dreamed of the answer he had given, which was this: the object of life to a Baha’i is to promote the> oneness of mankind. The whole object of our lives is bound up with the lives of all human beings: not a personal salvation we are seeking, but a universal one. We are not to cast eyes within ourselves and say “Now get busy saving your soul and reserving a comfortable berth in the Next World!” No, we are to get busy on bringing Heaven to the Planet. That is a very big concept. The Guardian then> went on to explain that our aim is to produce a world civilization which will in turn react on the character of the individual. It is, in a way, the> inverse of Christianity which started with the individual unit and through> it reach out to the conglomerate life of men.

This does not mean we must neglect to prune our personalities and weed out our faults and weaknesses. But it does mean we have to do a lot of radiating out to others of what we know to be true through the study of Baha’u'llah’s> teachings. It also means, it seems to me, that our “Administrative Order,” our Spiritual Assemblies, Committees, Nineteen Day Feast and Conventions,> present a near at hand and very challenging testing ground to us. If we> don’t and won’t learn to work with our fellow believers as we can and should> in our Baha’i community life, then we cannot very well expect that the world> is going to listen to us or follow our example: we are prone to think of our> Administration a set of procedures, a way of conducting Baha’i Business.> Maybe that is why we do not get the results from it which we know we should get. It is not a bunch of regulations, it is a mould of oneness, a mould of> joint life. Every single thing we conceive of as being Baha’i — love,> justice, lack of prejudice, fair-mindedness, liberality, understanding, etc.> — should find its living embodiment in our way of conducting as a group our> affairs.> When we have oneness on our assembly we will more than likely have it or be> able to produce in our community; when we get it as far as that, people will> start entering the Cause in droves. Why shouldn’t they? What is the world> looking for except just this, something that actually does enable people to> work and live harmoniously together?> Until we can do it ourselves why should we believe anyone else is going to> be interested in our ideas really seriously?> Abdul-Baha is credited with having said that the secret of self-mastery is> self-forgetfulness.

If there is anything wrong with the way our> administration works, it is this, that we just don’t forget ourselves. Our> own little ego–big one, as the case maybe–goes right along with us into> our Assembly or any other> meeting: there we sit with our superiority complex or our inferiority> complex or just our normal healthy selves, waiting to impose our views or to> get upset over an imaginary insult, or just to monopolize unconsciously> time, or to be too tired to make the effort to contribute our legitimate> share. I should be allowed to say this, in all humility and with deep> sympathy for all my fellow Baha’is, as I served on many committees and once> on an Assembly, and I look back with horror and amusement on my past follies> and attitudes. I can remember how very important my point of view was to> myself, how offended or distressed I got if it was not at least weighed with> great ! consideration, how I sometimes believed only I was a firm Baha’i> amongst those present who were about to wreck the Cause by a majority> decision which I did not share. We must be patient with not only others, but> with ourselves too. But also we must try much harder to be Baha’is in the> place where it counts most heavily–in our joint Baha’i life.> There is really nothing easier in this world than to tell other people what> to do, the pinch begins when you try to tell yourself what you ought to do> and get yourself to do it. Even we Baha’is share in this commonest of human> weaknesses. We are prone to fix our attention on the failings of our fellow> believer, and think that if she (or he) was not such an impediment, the> affairs of our group, assembly or community would run smoother.

Of course,> there is probably justification for our criticism. But the criticism is not> going to help matters much; on the contrary, it is more likely continually> to divert our attention from more important tasks. At the same time some> bias, some defect of our own, is no doubt a test and hindrance to others as> much as theirs is to us. The best way to overcome our weaknesses is, it> seems to me, twofold: Try to perfect yourself, for if you are better it> stands to reason the sum total of the community is that much better too; and> direct you energies into really working according to the administration> which is a living, dynamic thing and not a set of dos and don’ts.> Baha’is quickened as they are by the fire of a living religious conviction,> are for the most part conscientious in following the laws and principles of> their Faith. They pride themselves in their teachings; they really love them> and sincerely seek to live up to them. The sacrifices (for such they seem in> the eyes of the sophisticated and the worldly) they make, such as not> drinking, when it is the commonest social custom of the age, living a chaste> and noble life in a society that for the most part believes any restriction> on its sensual life to be unnecessary and unhealthy, accepting censure and> even ostracism rather than go against the belief that all colors and classes> are to be treated with absolute equality and associated with freely and> lovingly–are gladly accepted as means of demonstrating the reality of their Faith .

There is no doubt, too, that the believers have a high reputation for> character and integrity amongst those who contact them. But for some reason> or other, all our little weaknesses seem to come out in the working of> Administrative Order, perhaps because it is the touchstone Baha’u'llah has> applied to the ills of the world. I have thought about this very much and> wondered why it is so; for what my conclusion is worth, I offer it to> others. It can’t be the whole answer–but maybe it will help a little> towards finding it.> We have a tendency to put aside spiritual laws when we deal with> administrative problems. If one thinks about it, this is the exact opposite> of the whole concept of Baha’i government. Baha’u'llah, the “Father”, has> come to establish the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. If we really believe this> (which of course we do) then we must analyze it.> It implies a world run by law, but spiritual laws. It implies order,> discipline, organization but based on the principles given by God’s unerring> Prophet and not constructed by the little, self-interested minds of men. It> follows that the place where a Baha’i should be most actively on, living up> to the teaching to the fullest extent of his capacity, is in any gathering> representing the Administrative Order.

And yet so often you see a very fine Baha’i put aside a lot, if not all of> his spiritual attitudes when he enters an Assembly meeting, or a committee> or a Convention, and become a business man, a mere executive, or even> something faintly resembling a politician! When this happens we may well> suppose that inspirational guidance from on High flies out of the window! We> have plugged up the pipe line, just like the members of all other> floundering councils of the World, by mixed motives, personality problems,> individual aggressiveness, etc.> I wonder why? Is it because we have an age old belief that God is something> connected with a purely inner state, and is there for the salvation of soul> and the after-life ? Or because we feel we are competent to run any mundane> affairs according to our own lights?> Whatever it is, it is the thing that is preventing our Baha’i community life> from attracting large numbers to the Cause: because it is the thing that is> preventing us from showing that love and unity, amongst a body of people for> which the whole human race is starving.>

We think too much of our own capacities and abilities, and altogether too> little of what the power of God can do through any little soul, however> insignificant, who opens himself to that power. The greatest living example> of what one person can do who hitches herself to the power of God, that I> have seen, was Martha Root . Not that she was insignificant, she was not;> she was a fairly gifted and intelligent woman. But what she accomplished was> infinitely beyond your own resources. And she knew it. She also well> understood the process work. She used to say “Baha’u'llah does it” She was> too modest to put the matter even more pointedly and: say: “I LET BAHA’U'LLAH DO IT”.

Prayer nourishes the soul of loved ones

This evening, God impressed upon my heart to attend a church cellgroup meeting. On my journey, I found out that a friend who used to hurt me would be joining too. It surprised me a little, but I’ve overcome that complicated past, so the rest of the evening happened smoothly and eventfully. I had no feelings of hurt or attachment towards my friend today. Praise God for giving me the strength to break free.

I also noticed that my friend has changed for the better. Maybe not fully, but every slight change and progress means that a soul is saved. In the past, I often asked God why wasn’t He answering my prayers, why this friendship was so painful. I often asked God to change my friend. But instead of seeing change, I was hurt over and over again.

Now some time had passed and I have drawn apart from him, I begin to see changes in my friend, which I am most thankful for. Not for myself, because God has set me free from the chains of this once abusive friendship. I am thankful for God, who heard and answered my prayer in HIS TIME.

Which reminds me the purpose of prayer explained by Baha’u'llah.

Intone, O My servants, the verses of God that have been received by thee, as intoned by them who have drawn nigh unto Him, that the sweetness of thy melody may kindle thine own soul, and attract the hearts of all men. Whoso reciteth, in the privacy of his chamber, the verses revealed by God, the scattering angels of the Almighty shall scatter abroad the fragrance of the words uttered by his mouth, and shall cause the heart of every righteous man to throb. Though he may, at first, remain unaware of its effect, yet the virtue of the grace vouchsafed unto him must needs sooner or later exercise its influence upon his soul. Thus have the mysteries of the Revelation of God been decreed by virtue of the Will of Him Who is the Source of power and wisdom.

 With this in mind, I am more motivated to pray knowing that my prayers have profound impact on others. 

Silence

It might surprise you to know that I’m still in the process of getting acquainted with Tutor. Friendship takes time to kindle, until a point when no words are necessary to convey messages.

When Tutor and I are together, whether to study or just hanging out, I’d constantly search for things to say, fearing he might be bored. Tutor, on the other hand, seems less concerned. So it’s almost always me breaking the silence.

Today, I found a Baha’i blogger commenting on the issue of slience here.

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Bahá’u'lláh says there is a sign (from God) in every phenomenon: the sign of the intellect is contemplation and the sign of contemplation is silence, because it is impossible for a man to do two things at one time — he cannot both speak and meditate.

 

In many ways, it seems like silence can be an active force in our daily interactions, indeed Bahá’u'lláh exhorts us to “observe silence and refrain from idle talk,” a phrase that to me, implies something different than refraining from speaking, but suggests taking our time, trying to find and communicate the deeper meaning in any situation or interaction, and observing the active forces at work in the midst of silence.

 

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Interesting. Perhaps the silence between us isn’t about shyness, but rather a higher level of association in the worlds of God. It is better to listen with our hearts than resorting to idle talks. Perhaps, our friendship is beyond mere social courtesies, which I should be proud of.

 

But when I see Tutor talking animatedly with other people, I would feel envious and sorry that I cannot give Tutor as much pleasure.

It is terrible that I am seeking Tutor’s approval instead of God.

 

This article seems helpful.

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Abdu’l-Baha stated:

The differences in manners, in customs, in habits, in thoughts, opinions and in temperaments is the cause of the adornment of the world of mankind. This is praiseworthy. Likewise this difference and this variation, like the difference and variation of the parts and members of the human body, are the cause of the appearance of beauty and perfection.

I’ve been thinking a bit about the notion of the value of differences of temperaments among people, and the corollary that there is no ideal temperament, but rather each temperament has something unique to contribute to the world.

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I hope that my uniqueness would serve a purpose.

 

Healing the soul

 

hy name is my healing, O my God, and remembrance of Thee is my remedy.  Nearness to Thee is my hope, and love for Thee is my companion.  Thy mercy to me is my healing and my succor in both this world and the world to come.  Thou, verily, art the All-Bountiful, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise.

 This healing prayer by Baha’u'llah is my favorite. I realized the importance of healing both in spirit and in health. Many of us not born into a Baha’i family are filled with past hurt and resentment, which is carried on and continue to affect our daily lives. Despite feeling loved, I could not erase the old scar. It is impeding the soul’s progress. Therefore, I am relying on God, seeking His intervention. Oh Lord, my God, help me. Nearness to Thee is my remedy. Lift me up on Thee wings and never let me go. All I want is You. For I realized that without healing, everything becomes in vain.

Sri Eknath Easwaran

In October last year, i met a bright and kind lady in Los Angeles. She is currently a graduate student in UCLA. Being at peace with herself and with those around her, this lady inspired me to learn more about her spiritual teacher, Sri Easwaran.

You can read more about Sri Easwaran here.

In brief, Sri Easwaran is a scholar and university professor whose life is dedicated to learning about humanity and teaching spiritual qualities. His encounters with Mahatma Ghandi inspired much of his own beliefs. Sri Easwaran once a traveler who teach and lecture many, is now bound to one location due to deterioration in health. He continues to give lectures in the San Francisco Bay Area. That was where my friend came to him.

His meditation techniques involve the recitation of inspirational verses from various world religions.

Easwaran’s humility and down-to-earth attitude attracted my attention.

Read his profile here.

Suffering and honoring one’s parents.

Yesterday, a friend who suffered from Cancer, complained when her parents forbid her from going holiday with another friend. She had been looking forward to this holiday for two months, gritting her teeth through the side effects of chemotherapies and radiotherapies. Her parents at first said she could go wherever she wants to once she recovers and that gave her hope.

Now that her therapies are over, my friend gets ready for a two-day getaway, but was forbidden by her parents.

Although the reason is unclear, I sympathize with my friend. All that suffering must have been unbearable. What a lot of difference would it make if my friend gets a breather.

I shared my friend’s grief. Many encouraged my friend to stand up for herself. But at the same time, I wonder if my Tutor might have a different opinion. So I asked him.

Tutor said respect for parents is a must. Because even when our doings are good, without our parent’s forgiveness would distress the soul.

This I have to agree due to personal experiences.

Tutor further said strive should be resolved in consultation (discussion and reasoning). Let our Godly character influence others to do good. My friend needs to realize she cannot have everything she wants. By putting God into the picture, things would become easier.

Consultation might be more practical in a Baha’i family because then, every member of the family would realize the importance and benefit of consultation. So here we are, back again to the urgent need for world unity.

Oh, how much is the price of pain, but to let us know more about God?

Praise God for my Tutor. Praise God for pain!

What charity means.

One of the things that appealed to me is Baha’u'llah as the manifestation for the people of our time, bringing new commandments that are suitable and applicable in this time. As a Christian, I found that doctrines preached through the Bible are more practical for people in the days of Jesus, when teachings were told in parables, so that they were easily absorbed. People then had simpler minds, so fear was necessary to drive them away from evil deeds.

One example lies in Matthews 25:40. “Truly, I say to you. Inasmuch as you do it unto one of these My brothers, you do it unto me.”

In simpler terms, some Christians would say, “Do good for God.”

But Non-Christians in this day might take it the wrong way, as if Jesus’ view of God is most holy and others are condemned. Some may see it as hypocrisy, for charity should come from the heart and should not be done to please another.

God must have recognized this change in society perception, for He spoke again through Baha’u'llah more than a thousand years later.

“The essence of charity is for the servant to recount the blessings of His Lord, and to render thanks unto Him at all times, and under all conditions.”

Oh, how important it is to read religious scriptures in the context of time and space!